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May 10·edited May 10Liked by Kristin McTiernan

I grew up in what must have been a healthier time, the 1960s &70s. I was able to see the re-runs of the 50s, like Leave it to Beaver, Father Knows Best and Donna Reed. Even in the 60s there where families which consisted of both mother and father, and of course children. There was always one kid who got into trouble and Dad aways made things right. They always ended with the son/daughter realizing that Dad was right.

As a college student, I adopted a creed that let me transcend what the media dumped into our TV rooms. I helped my wife raise our four children and enjoy the 15 grandchildren (thus far) we have. — Glenn Perlman

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It most certainly was a healthier time. We still had those wholesome reruns, but they were on Nick at Nite, so I had to be in bed before they aired, which is a shame. I was well into my teens before I ever saw an episode of Dick Van Dyke.

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Wow, Dick Van Dyke. I mention an episode in my memoir in progress.

"My new status at a weekly gold medal winner, put me in the center of comradery. My expression of this was the confidence to become a put-down artist. The one-liner that became my template was from Morey Amsterdam on The Dike Van Dyke Show. Amsterdam played Buddy Sorrell and insulted Mel Cooley; Mel protests, “I didn’t come here to be insulted,” Buddy returns Mel's defiant protestation with an intreating look, and asks “Where do you usually go to be insulted?” I found my voice; how to take one word out of context and flip it into a benign insult. I became a hit with my teammates."

—Glenn Perlman

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May 10Liked by Kristin McTiernan

Goodness, I had a feeling we shared some common values. This (again) proves it. Well said! I remember those messages from church, along with the warnings about the evils of rock music. Still a believer though running with a decidedly more inclusive track. Having just finished watching Downton Abbey (yeah, not too quick to join the crowd) I wonder if shame-based values will ever cease to be a tool of manipulators. Doubtful.

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Shame is important in reflection and growth but it is so often used as a weapon for manipulators and weirdos dealing with their own hangups. Especially when dealing with children and teens, it can be so harmful.

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I couldn’t agree more. Sadly, in some religious traditions it seems to be the tool used simply to keep the club exclusive. It’s so disappointing to see people driven away based on the weaponization of extreme interpretations or just ‘folk theology.’ But it seems that happens in many faiths.

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Ah- when you put it like that, I understand...

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It's most certainly ideal for adults to intervene with counseling (and discipline) to help a struggling youth. Unfortunately, in my experience public schools don't always do this. Or there's not sufficient support for it at home until it's too late. The child being bullied is in no position to address what is causing the antisocial behavior in their bully.

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So: you're saying we shouldn't try to make mean kids good before they end up as juvenile delinquents?

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Not sure if this is sarcasm, but it's not on the victims of bullying to reform their abusers.

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Got it. I can use this to make my kid-oriented fiction more realistic.

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Wow. I definitely remember that messaging. They were trying to get kids to stay celibate if I remember correctly. I think of people like Tipper Gore...maybe that's off the mark. Anyway, great post.

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